A relationship works when both partners “pull” in the same direction. We all had relationships which didn’t end in the happiest way. You can avoid toxic relationships from the beginning, when the signs are obvious, but most of the time you choose to ignore them.
We have prepared 7 behaviors that you should not accept from a partner.
1. Treating others with malice
Surely you have seen certain people who are simply mean to the people around them. Whether it is a waiter, a cashier, a courier or even a neighbor, the lack of kindness, patience and tolerance should raise serious question marks. These are important factors in successful relationships. If someone is rude to those around them, they will certainly behave the same way to you.
2. Total lack of responsibility
Have you ever met someone who always finds excuses for small mistakes or bad moods? “I haven’t forgotten we’re supposed to go to the restaurant tonight, but I need to stay overtime”. Or maybe they blame the traffic…or the weather outside. You got the idea.
It is important to be with people who accept responsibility for their thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Otherwise, you will be blamed for being the one who spoils his / her mood or for being the cause of unhappiness in the relationship.
3. Gossiping about former partners
If someone insists that all their partners were “crazy” or that they were “bad people”, there are 2 possibilities:
- Either they make the wrong choices in relationships and end up with the wrong people every time;
- Either thing end badly every time because of them.
It is perfectly normal for the ex to appear from time to time in certain discussions, but the way they occur is the important part. “We’ve been together for 1 year but it wasn’t meant to be” is clearly different from “He lost 1 year of my life being in that relationship…”. What would you choose?
4. They want too much, too fast
In a world where people often move from one relationship to another, it may seem okay for your partner to tell you from the beginning that they want to be with you for the rest of their life. Such statements are misleading. Do you know what your life will look like a year from now?
A relationship should last and thrive because those involved listen to each other’s needs. They calibrate each other over time and when things go well there is no reason to ruin them.
The partner who says from the beginning “I will be with you forever” probably does not know how much time and effort it takes to build a strong and healthy relationship.
O relație ar trebui să reziste și să prospere pentru că cei implicați ascultă unul de nevoile celuilalt. Se calibrează reciproc în timp iar când lucrurile merg bine nu există motiv pentru a le strica.
5. They constantly give you unsolicited advice
Most often about life. It is said that you get the best advice when you ask for it. Otherwise, unsolicited advice can often be linked to mistrust, jealousy or anger.
Transparency and things said directly are what you should look for. “Hey, I’d rather spend more time together” versus, “I think it would be better for you if you went out with friends less often.” What would you prefer?
6. They don’t respect your limits
Most of the time, we believe that if something happened in a certain way in the past, it will happen the same way in the future. There are limits in relationships that we should not cross, but most importantly, we must respect them.
Maybe in their former relationship, it was ok to “check” on their partner from time to time. Where they are; who are they with; how long will they stay. For the new relationship, however, this behavior might be inadmissible.
7. They speak ill of their family and friends
Take seriously the way your partner talks about family and friends. In theory, these are the closest people they have and if he/she speaks ill of them, think about what he/she will say about you.
Watch out for all these behaviors and try to notice them in the person you are meeting. If you’ve already noticed them, ask yourself if you really want to spend the rest of your life with that person.
